Spooky Season: The Finale

Final Thoughts on the Horror Genre

Hello everyone.

I did not post as many Spooky Season blogs as I originally planned. I was supposed to end it on Halloween, but since 1 AM Media is not on Hallmark’s payroll, Spooky Season can end whenever we want. It’s not the end of world. We’re resilient, we roll with the punches. It is what it is.

“The Finale” is not the name of an obscure horror movie I watched, although it certainly sounds like it could be. Today I just want to give a comprehensive rundown of the horror genre as a whole. I’ll include some movies and describe the kind of vibe they have, usually referencing my previous rating system that factors quality and scariness.

Before I dive in, I have to mention that I did get around to watching the new V/H/S movie, V/H/S: 99. I really liked it. It included the original storytelling of the previous installments thanks to multiple filmmakers with different visions. It had the same monster movie vibe of V/H/S: 94, but they did it a little better this time around. Another creative decision the filmmakers made for the fifth installment in franchise was to forgo using a frame narrative. Instead, they decided to separate the segments with a sort of prologue to one of the segments. There were two segments that worked for me. Spoiler (You’re not gonna watch it but I feel obligated to warn): One follows a group of teen boys, who spy on their attractive neighbor. Their neighbor turns out to be Medusa and gets them with the ole turn to stone trick. Oldest trick in the book, perhaps literally. The second segment that stood out to me included a very original visual representation of Hell. That’s all I’ll really say. It was wild.

I also watched several other horror movies over the span of this Spooky Season. I saw the new movie Smile that used the guerrilla marketing campaign of sending creepy people to baseball games.

Yikes

Honestly, the marketing campaign was scarier than the movie. I have so many logistical questions, though. How long do they have to stand there? Is the campaign ruined if they get caught burying a hot dog on camera? Was there ever some poor guy who saved up hundreds of dollars to take their kid to sit behind home plate, just to be behind this ghoul? Did anyone yell “Sit the fuck down!”

I suppose my several questions and writing about the marketing campaign is exactly what the filmmakers want. Nevertheless, Smile was fine. The plot was interesting enough, but to me it falls into the forgettable big-budget modern horror category. So many horror movies fall into this category. Some off the top of my head are Mama, The Bye-Bye Man, The Woman in Black, Don’t Breathe, Light’s Out, Ouija, pretty much anything with sharks other than Jaws, I could do this all day. This does not necessarily mean the movies are bad, some of them are really good. They just do not warrant a rewatch. The best horror movies are the ones you watch and immediately want to show your friends because you want them to share the experience with you. These movies do not do that for me. Smile is right there on the list with them. These are what I would have called “Stupid” horror movies in my previous Spooky Season blogs. I’m changing the ranking to forgettable because some of them hold up, I just have no desire to watch them again.

Another horror movie I watched was The Black Phone. This movie got rave reviews. Everyone loved it. I’m no contrarian, but I think this movie is wildly overrated. Spoilers (You might actually watch this one but it’s so meh I would just keep reading): The Black Phone follows a young shy boy named Finney who gets kidnapped. by Ethan Hawke, who they call The Grabber. Finney has a sister named Gwen who has visions that give her clues as to where Finney is being held. I’ll come back to that. Their alcoholic father beats them, especially Gwen (because he does not believe in the visions) in a pretty gratuitous abuse scene that went on for longer than expected. The actress who played Gwen, Madeleine McGraw, as well as Ethan Hawke, both had really great performances. Anyway, Gwen tells the police and they kind of believe her which is absurd. The police in this movie put way too much trust into Gwen’s visions. While this is going on behind the scenes, Finney is receiving calls on an old black phone (Why is it even there? Ethan Hawke could have just removed it. Nitpicking, I know) from the ghosts of The Grabber’s past victims. They never explain why or how this is happening. I’m more than happy to suspend my disbelief when it comes to watching movies, but it seems like this whole plot is being is leaning on the idea that we as viewers will go, “Uh huh, yep, Ghost phone, of course.” The ghosts teach Finney little tips and tricks about the dungeon he is kept in, so he can eventually escape/defeat Ethan Hawke. He eventually does and the family reunites, with the dad promising to stop drinking and beating them (I think, it was something like that). My BIGGEST problem with this movie was how violently the filmmakers underused James Ransone’s character. Ransone plays The Grabber’s coke head brother, Max. Max uses his cocaine fueled energy to try to figure out who the Grabber is. His only two scenes are being questioned by the police, and getting an axe to the face by The Grabber. To add insult to injury, Max and the Grabber live in the same house. If you watch the movie, you will know how absurd this is. Overall, the movie did a lot of good things, had great performances, but came up short in my opinion. You might love it, so I would say just see it for yourself.

Spoilers Over Sorry for the Rant

I also saw the new horror film Barbarian. I refuse to give any details. The best way to watch it is going in blind. It has a good cast, good performances, and a very original and complete plot. That is all I’ll say.

I’m starting to feel a little burnt out when it comes to horror. There’s one more movie I want to mention before I wrap up. Last night I watched the 1996 film Primal Fear. It stars Richard Gere as a big shot defense lawyer who takes the case of a 19 year old altar boy (Edward Norton) who has been arrested for murdering a prominent Archbishop in Chicago. My mother always told me that she was terrified from this movie, and Cape Fear (Similar names, weird). After watching, I know what she means. One of the actors (I’m avoiding spoilers here, because I really recommend this movie) has one of the most chilling and impressive performances I have ever seen. I rarely have a visceral reaction to a movie, but my heart was racing during the climax of this film. I highly suggest it, you will be impressed. This is the 1 AM Media guarantee.

This concludes the 2022 Spooky Season. Thank you for sticking around for 3 blogs haha. Horror has a special place in my heart, and I hope you enjoyed my ramblings about it.

Talk to you soon with a change of pace.

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-CJ